I wake beneath low grey skies, the chair still on the front porch growing soggy under drizzly rain that quickly turns past drizzle straight into downpour. Ducking beneath my hooded jacket, I dash to the van gripping Caden, insistent on coming along and still in his footie pajamas. We drive with wipers squeaking to pick up one of the boys, who apparently decided he would rather sleep in. Air escapes loudly as I turn around to drive back home, only to the phone buzzing and his pleading for me to turn back around because he's awake now. Back home, we eat pancakes and I climb over piled laundry and shove aside dishes to hurry everyone to church. Children leave puzzles strewn and legos stab underfoot. And I cant help but think it's no-wonder so many of us moms feel voiceless, hoarse. Laryngitis setting in from asking the same things again and again. And sometimes I wonder if anyone hears me, ever.
I've decided to take a break from this space for the holiday season. I will probably return afterwards, but I'm not positive right now. I feel like I'm not sure what to say these days, and I'm not sure anyone is listening anyways. Which probably means mostly that I need time to refocus myself on Jesus and to stop watching the waves. And maybe to re-discover my voice.
I love all of you and hope and pray that the next month is drenched in peace and joy, with family and friends and community that surrounds and uplifts.