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Hi.

I'm so glad you found your way to my little corner of the neighborhood! Pull up a chair and stay, and let's chat about life on the margins and loving Jesus and, obviously, where to find the best cheese dip and most life-changing books. 

Let Him be Little (forever please)

It has been sweet forever since I took part in one of I Heart Faces weekly photography challenges. Things have been, needless to say, a little crazy around here . . .But I saw that this week's theme was little ones - and since I have two little ones of my own, I figured I could scrounge up a picture to enter without too much effort.

While I was pregnant with Caden, I couldn't wait to take his pictures. See, it wasn't until after Jayci was born that I started really learning my camera and realized how much I loved photography. This means, however, that most of the pictures I took of Jayci before she was about one year old were, in a word, terrible. Ok they weren't TERRIBLE, but they are nowhere near the pictures I know I could take now. For this reason, I could hardly wait to capture my sweet newborn's first days at home. I just knew I'd be able to catch get him the perfect pose; because, after all, I'd have those first two whole weeks at home when they're all newborn sleepy, squishy, bendy perfection.

God's plans for our little Caden were different, obviously. I didn't take home a newborn, because by the time Caden was discharged from the hospital, he was almost a month old. Now, obviously, the overwhelming emotion I experienced at his coming home was joy and relief and gratitude. But I've realized that it's ok to grieve the fact that I missed those first few weeks of cuddling and holding (and taking pictures of) my little newborn. I have had to learn that I need to allow myself to fully experience both the good and the bad emotions on this journey. This means I can rejoice without fearing what's ahead, and I need to be able to mourn some things without feeling guilty.

Plus, once he was home, we still weren't allowed to put him on his tummy or pick him up under his arms, so I was super cautious to move him around too much etc (he did, after all, have a sternum that had been cut through and needed healing). That said, I don't have any of the newborn pictures of Caden that I envisioned while he was still snuggled in my belly. What I do have, however, are pictures of my little fighter that I love a whole lot.
I chose this picture because Caden is my little super-hero, he's overcome so much and touched so many lives already, and he's not even three months old! Also, I realized I never shared this one, and even though it's not perfect or what I had in mind for our newborn shoot, I still love it. A lot.

(ps-if you're coming over from I Heart Faces and don't know Caden's story, feel free to visit his Facebook page or look back at these posts to get up to speed).
*Don't forget to visit I Heart Faces for more little one pictures (including lots of beautiful squishy newborn pictures I'm sure -- I cant wait to go see them all!)

Fall Festival 2011

Warning: Way too many pictures