I'm actually not one of those people who just LOVES listening to music all the time. I tend to prefer quiet when I'm writing or working or reading. However, when Caden was first in the hospital, we met a sweet couple whose son (Elijah) had a similar story to Caden's. They encouraged us immensely, and the day after we met them, they even dropped off a cd for us with songs that had encouraged them while Elijah was in the hospital for his first surgery.
We were tired and scared as we left the hospital each night, especially those first few days. Torn between a desperate need for sleep and a deep fear of leaving our son. Not sure how to process everything, how to love our son fully, trust God completely, and prepare ourselves for what the future might hold for Caden. We pulled out of the parking garage, and popped in the cd that Elijah's parents made us. And the first two songs both immediately reduced us to tears. It was like they had been written just for us. Like someone had climbed inside our heads and hearts and put our emotions to music.
It turns out that those songs were by Matt Hammitt (the lead singer of Sanctus Real), and the reason it seemed like they were written just for our situation is that Matt's son (Bowen) was also born with a congenital heart defect. I read Bowen's story, and listened to those songs again and again, encouraged and strengthened by the knowledge that we weren't alone in what we were going through.
I truly feel like the song "All of Me" opened my eyes to the fact that I was holding Caden at a distance for the first day or two of his life. It was easier for me to try and protect myself and to prepare myself for the worst, if I didn't give myself fully to loving Caden. And we couldn't hold him, making it even easier to do so. But when I heard the song (and wrote this post through my tears) I realized that my son, my beautiful son, was worth all the pain and fear. I realized just how much I loved him. Just how much I needed to surrender to the situation, to surrender him to the Lord.
We put both of these songs on a special cd we made for Caden, and we played it for him while he was in the CICU. The first song on the cd was "Holding You." We were grateful for the reminder every time we heard it that even when we couldn't hold our son, God was holding him safely in His loving arms. And we needed something to hold onto in the midst of the craziness and fear, and the Truth that Matt proclaimed in that song helped to sustain us.
We still listen to that cd in the car sometimes. And from the very first chord, I am transported back to the CICU. To the many nights spent sitting at Caden's bedside, hoping and praying and crying. I can hear the bubbling of his chest tubes and the beeping of the machines. I can see his open chest and his heart beating. And I am reminded anew of the grace we have been shown. Of the miracle we've witnessed. And while my own heart aches a little at all we've been through and all we still have ahead, I am also flooded with gratitude and joy.
Today, Matt Hammitt's complete CD, Every Falling Tear, is released. Every song is inspired by Bowen and everything their family has been through. And a portion of the proceeds from every sale will benefit the Whole Hearts Foundation, "a movement toward hope for families with children suffering from congenital heart defects." I would encourage every single one of you to listen and download his CD. Seriously, it's beautiful music with life-changing lyrics and you wont regret it.
I also wanted to give away a copy of Every Falling Tear to one of y'all. I just want you to know how grateful I am to each and every one of you for walking alongside us on this journey and for all your prayers and encouragement. You have blessed us immensely and we would love to bless one of you with this cd. All you have to do in order to be entered is leave a comment on this post. I'll pick a winner on Friday.
*PS -Matt Hammitt has no idea who I am and no one has asked me to write this, I just believe in it and like sharing things that make me happy.
We were tired and scared as we left the hospital each night, especially those first few days. Torn between a desperate need for sleep and a deep fear of leaving our son. Not sure how to process everything, how to love our son fully, trust God completely, and prepare ourselves for what the future might hold for Caden. We pulled out of the parking garage, and popped in the cd that Elijah's parents made us. And the first two songs both immediately reduced us to tears. It was like they had been written just for us. Like someone had climbed inside our heads and hearts and put our emotions to music.
It turns out that those songs were by Matt Hammitt (the lead singer of Sanctus Real), and the reason it seemed like they were written just for our situation is that Matt's son (Bowen) was also born with a congenital heart defect. I read Bowen's story, and listened to those songs again and again, encouraged and strengthened by the knowledge that we weren't alone in what we were going through.
I truly feel like the song "All of Me" opened my eyes to the fact that I was holding Caden at a distance for the first day or two of his life. It was easier for me to try and protect myself and to prepare myself for the worst, if I didn't give myself fully to loving Caden. And we couldn't hold him, making it even easier to do so. But when I heard the song (and wrote this post through my tears) I realized that my son, my beautiful son, was worth all the pain and fear. I realized just how much I loved him. Just how much I needed to surrender to the situation, to surrender him to the Lord.
We put both of these songs on a special cd we made for Caden, and we played it for him while he was in the CICU. The first song on the cd was "Holding You." We were grateful for the reminder every time we heard it that even when we couldn't hold our son, God was holding him safely in His loving arms. And we needed something to hold onto in the midst of the craziness and fear, and the Truth that Matt proclaimed in that song helped to sustain us.
We still listen to that cd in the car sometimes. And from the very first chord, I am transported back to the CICU. To the many nights spent sitting at Caden's bedside, hoping and praying and crying. I can hear the bubbling of his chest tubes and the beeping of the machines. I can see his open chest and his heart beating. And I am reminded anew of the grace we have been shown. Of the miracle we've witnessed. And while my own heart aches a little at all we've been through and all we still have ahead, I am also flooded with gratitude and joy.
Today, Matt Hammitt's complete CD, Every Falling Tear, is released. Every song is inspired by Bowen and everything their family has been through. And a portion of the proceeds from every sale will benefit the Whole Hearts Foundation, "a movement toward hope for families with children suffering from congenital heart defects." I would encourage every single one of you to listen and download his CD. Seriously, it's beautiful music with life-changing lyrics and you wont regret it.
*PS -Matt Hammitt has no idea who I am and no one has asked me to write this, I just believe in it and like sharing things that make me happy.